What never was

Cole Porter said it best:

In the still of the night
as I gaze from my window
at the moon in its flight
my thoughts all stray to you.

There he was. Smiling. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere.

I'm Rob.
Oh, right. Hi Rob. Nice to meet you.

He offered his hand. We've never met before, but I felt I knew him. The resemblance was uncanny: same touch, same hair, and those same, unmistakable eyes, glinting at me. I had seen a ghost.

In the still of the night
while the world is in slumber,
oh, the times without number,
darling, when I say to you

It was Saturday. Too cold to be fashionable, but I insisted that Mike and I at least drop by. An innocent dance at the college, made more sketchy by the presence of grad students insinuating ourselves into the tangles of freshmen on the dimly lit floor, was taking place. I'd invited Ben, himself a grad student. He brought Rob.

Rob, how do you know Ben?
I'm year 2.
Oh.
Yeah. And you?
Oh. I'm with Mike. That's how I know Ben.
Don't we feel old here.
Yeah. (he laughs). Ah well.

We didn't talk very much, but we didn't need to. Somethings, you just know. Familiar associations were everywhere--Texas, Duke, Harvard--it was all too familiar; the old rush to the head, the dizzying, stupifying intoxication of a former obsession became real again.

I clung to Mike. Steve found Ben, and soon there were five, two couples and a loner who had no choice but to make the best of the situation. He smiled. A lot. He knew I watched him dance, and liked the attention. Did some floor moves--quite the acrobat. Ryan would never move like this. But still, I could hear that Southern swagger, the same bravado, the soft spoken gaze that to me said more than he ever did out loud. Suddenly, it all came flooding back, the old refrains.

"Do you love me as I love you?
Are you my life-to-be, my dream come true?"
Or will this dream of mine
fade out of sight
like the moon growing dim
on the rim of the hill
in the chill still of the night?

Mike snuck behind me. I felt his strong arms around my waist, his breath on my neck--warm, familiar, lovely. I turned my gaze to find him smiling; I smiled back. With a sigh, I buried myself in his chest, surrendering. His scent enveloped me in a calming balm.

Is something wrong?
No. no. Everything is fine now.
Everything is fine now.