So queer

So I've been home for a couple of days now, sipping eggnog, eating cookies, watching the Home and Garden TV channel on basic cable. I know what you're thinking...but save it for now. For those who aren't in the know, HGTV is what happens when Martha can't stay up 24 hours a day to entertain you with her table setting skills and home baked Christmas ornament extravaganzas; somebody has to take up the slack. Personally, I alternate between HGTV and Animal Planet to watch monkeys go at it...while reviewing for the USMLE. Isn't life rich?

HGTV has been even more interesting since I last watched TV (about 3 months ago). I don't know who they think their target demographic is, but pairing programming about how to coordinate draperies and wall color with techno beats is just deliciously subversive. So much so that I had to tell myself several times while watching a kitchen redo in an idyllic suburban home that behind the sound stage is not the 'Ramrod' on Oxford Street, and indeed, half-naked go go boys are not about to burst onto the screen to show me how to faux finish my rustic chicken-wire fence.

Are they *that* attuned to the fact that only straight women and gay men watch this channel? And if so, are straight women really enticed by rhythmic techno bass beats and the scintillating repetition of synthesizers? Who the hell cares, I know, but it's quite funny to view even HGTV's more 'manly' shows with hyper-buffed carpenters rebuilding a barn through the lens of a leather bar musical experience. Surely, suburban housewives are getting a kick out of this, even if they don't realize it. And the gays, who can forget the gays...

Cascada and decoupage? What could be better!